Am citit azi un articol care a surprins exact ce simt si eu pentru tine de atatea ori, si vrea sa-ti multumesc. Vreau sa iti spun ca nu uit niciodata gesturile tale mici, grija pe care mi-o porti, faptul ca mereu simt ca am o panza de siguranta, ca nu te superi sau nu imi zici lucruri pe care poate ar trebui sa mi le zici, ca ai atata rabdare si bunatate incat uneori nu pot nici sa inteleg de unde vine.
Mi-am dat seama azi cat e de rar un astfel de sentiment, cum unii nu stiu macar cat esti de minunat si cat de norocoasa sunt ca esti langa mine in fiecare zi. Iti multumesc, si chiar daca nu stiu sa iti arat, chiar daca nu pare ca vad, ca simt si ca retin, fiecare gest al tau e pastrat in inima mea. Si fiecare minut al meu iti multumesc.
Da, e mai. E mai si parca abia acum imi dau seama cat de repede a trecut iarna. Abia acum indraznim sa speram la zilele calduroase de vara. E aproape, atat de aproape..Am pofta sa las toate gandurile in urma si sa incep din nou, am pofta sa uit, sa ma reinventez, sa descopar cine sunt.
Parca soarele imi spune ca va fi bine. Parca linistea de afara si luminitele dintre frunze imi soptesc sa ma linistesc. E bine, va fi bine. Vin zile pline de bucurii si energia ta nu o sa mai scada niciodata. Vine vara si o sa am curaj sa visez din nou, sa sper din nou, sa invat sa fiu mai buna.
E minunata viata in astfel de zile. Uneori parca te opresti si intelegi ce zic toti, cand iti spun ca nu trebuie sa renunti. Pentru zile ca astea au fost inventate sfaturile
Oh, si daca as reusi sa pastrez in inima momentul asta, si sa ma intorc mereu la el, sa evadez in cerul asta minunat de clar si sa chem soarele sa alunge orice nori ar putea sa apara.. Si stii ce? As putea sa incerc, poate chiar o sa-mi iasa..
Today I am going to write about how life did not turned out to be what I was expecting and about how I realized everyday things got into a pattern and it is quite hard to change them. When did also these years passed/ I used to have great dreams and look myself as a someone who could do everything. I think I still at myself in that way, but I am amazed about the way the person in my mirror looks like. It thought life will be easy and I will manage, just like in my, to achieve everything with a smile on my face. And guess what- I did not. I see my achievements low compared to the ones of other and wonder when did this happen. When did they had the time to change themselves so much/
The worst thing I don’t see an easy way out and the future seems to be so frightening/ Did this happen to everybody, the day the realised they are not what they thought they will be/ That all the magic I was picturing slowly dissappeared and life is just a straight line of repetitive actions/ When did I lost the magic I wonder…
I used to think I am going to be an artist. I was creative, I had power, I used to imagine somehow, someone will come and arrange me in the right place, as my parents always used to do. I see now none did it. I just arrived in a place I did not planned, I did not expected, slowly turning into a person the one in my head does not yet reconizes.
There are just too many decisions to be made and it so hard to take them. How could I know what is the good thing/ Oh, and when I think other seem to have everything figured out. I am still expecting, I think, for that change that will put everything on the right track.
This post may seem a bit dramatic, I know, but it is not. And this is not exactly a good thing.It is not a wake-up call, is just another day from the ordinary life, where I stopped a second to think.Probably nothing will change and this the real drama. I look around and so many people seems to be following a route, without asking why, just because, somehow, they ended up on it. It’s like we are all lost. We dreamed too much of this life and life turned out to be just ordinary. We lost the magic.
I have just decided to upload here my favorite work so far. Mostly because I realized I already have a lot of photos and it this will help me remember the ones I really liked.
Photo details: taken in Costinesti, July 2014